Have you ever noticed how some people celebrate your success while others seem to resent it? You might have had a promotion at work, met your weight loss goals, started sharing valuable content on social media or started a new business – it doesn’t matter what it is – you still get the same polarised reaction from those around you.
These two types of people even have names – “balcony people” and “basement people”. They may be friends, colleagues, contacts or even family but they can fall into these opposing categories
“Balcony people” are life’s cheerleaders. They always have a positive outlook on life and high self-esteem. They are genuinely pleased for you and those around them and want to celebrate every little win. They support you both publicly and privately – cheering you on and encouraging to be the best version of yourself. They support your business, go the extra mile to help you and are the first to recommend you, buy your products and tell you, you’ve got this at every opportunity.
“Basement people” take the opposing approach. They are the ‘glass half empty’ people who have such low self-esteem they are incapable or unwilling to celebrate other people’s victories. They believe that success is limited and have a scarcity mindset and make themselves better by savaging the work of others. They use their energy to put you down, or worse try to sabotage you! They are the keyboard warriors, pure trolls, they try to criticise you behind your back, belittle your every success and can think of a thousand reasons why everything you set your mind to will fail.
If you are a strong character, you may be able to ignore the “basement people” in your circle. But if you are not totally confident in yourself and are a people-pleaser this type of person might cause you hidden angst and dent your confidence. However, there are some tactics to employ to minimise their impact on your life.
- Face facts! Be realistic – some people are never going to like you or support you whatever you do. It’s an unknown rule – you can never please everyone all of the time. Some people will take an instant dislike to you and no matter what you do, you won’t win them over. Take it on the chin, accept the fact and recognise them for who they are the “basement people”. Shrug them off and let it go.
- Separate yourself. Where possible, remove yourself from the situation and put clear distance between you and them. If you can’t do this physically, do it emotionally. You are responsible for your reaction to a situation – steer clear and don’t give them the power to affect you and your life. Limit the time you spend with them and make sure you keep your life and your successes out of their earshot. They will always try to find ammunition to attack you and if you don’t react to their goading, they’ll get bored and target someone else. If they are targeting you online, unfriend them, block them from making comments on your posts and don’t give them another thought.
- Remember who you are. We are all unique we’ve already won the lottery and overcome crazy odds just by being born. No-one can give the value you can, no-one can present their gifts like you or share their truth. Spend time with your “balcony people”, build yourself up and hold on to your message. One of my mentors said that you know you’ve made it the first time you get trolled! Take it as a compliment that you’re worthy of being put down!
And remember, don’t allow anyone’s “basement” mentality to steal your joy or diminish your success. Keep going, keep growing and keep celebrating your wins with the people who are championing you.
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